All beans, no aroma!

continued from Cigar Lounge...


Soon enough, they had accepted their feelings for each other. But, it took exactly one month after the apple juice incident that they were able to reconcile with it. Sid called her parents and broke the news. Their parents, were obviously not happy!

"Mom, yeah I wanted to tell you something. I like this boy, Kartik. And I will marry him."

"That is a very good news Sid, bete when are we meeting him?"

"You can meet him whenever you are in Mumbai."

"So when are you calling us?"

"You come whenever, I am flying off to NY tomorrow - oh yeah I forgot to tell you - I am going to do a course in film making - I will graduate in two years."

She told Kartik about this even later - 5 hours before the flight.

"Sid, what the hell?"

"Kat, when my course gets over, then we will think what to do next with our relationship"

"Sid! Are you even hearing yourself? For two years what will we do? You could have told me, I could have come along"

"What will you do there dude? And plus you don't like the States"

"But I like you! I will do whatever I do here!"

There was no logical explanation that could convince Kat. But Sid had not left him with any option. She flew off and did not speak to him even once post that. She did not even share her mobile number.

In one month, Kat was able to find a job for himself in NY. And he flew exactly 31 days after she had left, in search of her. In one year, Kat knew it was like finding a needle in the haystack. He was not devastated yet, and was in his make believe world that he will find her.

It was one afternoon, 13 months after he had arrived in NY, that she saw him for the first time. She even shouted his name from behind. But, he was in his own world. He was on beans. And, there was no aroma.

to be continued

Cigar Lounge

continued from Coffee and Cig

"Kat is that you?" Sid asked in slow voice.

The guy she was looking at was totally wasted. Seemed he hadn't taken a bath nor shaved for months.

"Is that you Kat?", she repeated slightly louder this time.

But he was dazed, confused and totally unable to understand what was being asked. The street where she found him is called the Cigar Lounge. A spoof to the high society restaurant across town, this street houses all the homeless druggies. She had searched for Kat in numerous places in the United States. This is where the young detective brought her to identify Kat.

"He is definitely Mr. Kartik, Miss Siddhi. People here recognized him with the photograph shown. He started living the shelter at the end of the street, they say. But, then as is the tradition he got back to his addiction. You know there are a few people living in the projects who still aren't abused by drugs. But they are also soon to be. But I think he is definitely Kartik. What do you think Siddhi?", Detective Cross asked.

"I know he his Kartik. But I don't know how to react. Be happy that I found him after three years?

After all, it was my mistake to let him go...

As they had said, if you love a person so much, you should let him go, if he loved you back he would come back - otherwise he didn't ever...

to be continued

Coffee and a Cig

"You want to go for a cup of coffee?" asked Kat.
"Sure, although I want to go for a smoke, I will join you." replied Sid.


They walked on the winding foot path leading to a small open cafe. That was their usual meeting place. While it seemed like they were dating, they weren't. They were what at best two casual friends can become. Kat was as addicted to coffee, as Sid was to fags.

"When are you planning to leave that bad habit?"
"Whenever you leave yours!"

"What? Coffee is nor as addictive and neither as unhealthy as cigarettes."
"OK, whatever, addiction is addiction. You can't leave it one fine day. It takes time. Well can you leave your coffee, well say today?"

"Yes I can. If I believe it is very unhealthy. OK lets do one thing, I wont have coffee today, you don't have your cigs. We will both go and have apple juice then."
"Whatever. We will see."

"No promise me, we will start from today."
"OK OK. Lets go about it today. And the time I catch you having a sip of that caffeine-heavy drink, you will know where the smoke is coming from!"

"Uh waiter, please get us two glasses of fresh Apple juice." "So, hows auntie and uncle?"
"Gosh, tum bhi na roz roz. You ask me the same question everyday. I hardly call them, say once a week."

"Well, you should call them more often then. They are your parents! Anyways, how is your old friend these days? The one who used to call you like five times a day?"
"Well, that friend is no longer in my life. I am damn happy about this fact. And no more questions on this topic."

"OK, well" In the meantime the waiter came and served them two glasses of Apple Juice. "Well this doesn't look fresh. Waiter....... did you bring it out of a can?"
The waiter totally ignored the question and took the glasses away, and quickly brought two new glasses which apparently satisfied Kat.
"Well that's what you call fresh juice!"
"You are too particular! Loosen up!"

"Why should I loosen up? You know what happens when one drinks canned juice?"
"What? One dies? Right" "Ha ha ha, as I said loosen up"

"Ok ok. Anyways, so where were we?"
"In a cafe!"

"Ha ha ha, nice joke really. That is what your idea of loosening up was?" "Ha ha ha."
"Yes. I have another idea."

Sid got up and kissed on Kat's cheeks.

"What are you doing Siddhi. You are a girl."
"Well Kartik, being a boy you should be the one doing this long ago!"

to be continued....

Wounded Soldier

Silence. That is what it was. The bullet hit my stomach and tore it apart. And I had become silent. I was famous for my very loud war cry, but today a small bullet had silenced me. The purpose of standing in the way of that bullet was unclear to me once it hit me. Why was I prepared to die for my country? If I kill a hundred soldiers behind the enemy line, what would the country give me? Then it came to my mind, satisfaction to have served the nation. But the question arises, what comprises of a nation? Geographical proximity, cultural history or just a sovereign government? Is it a group of people who are governing this country, are the people whom I am really serving. They represent the nation. But do they?

I am about to die and am confused. Am not a tiny bit satisfied with my death. Why should I protect my government when it just comprises of corrupt politicians. What will happen if I don't protect them. There will be another bunch of losers who will govern us. It may become a little worse, but it ain't getting better either right now. My soul cries, my senses die down and I think I have reached death, I think I have finished my journey, I think I will soon fade away in this brightly lit universe.

It must be days after which I would have opened my eyes. Oh dear, so what they said was true. There is indeed life after death, cause last time I checked, I was dying. But then, it wasn't so rosy as I had thought, I was still residing in that dark universe. I was saved by a doctor, to be thrown back into this universe, which I despised greatly now. But it was worse, I was paralysed, and wasn't able to walk. I was thrown out of the army, paralysed, without a job to do, and a meagerly pension to live with.

It would have been better if I would have died, I thought. I was a wounded soldier, the worst form a human being can be in. Then I thought the nation will help me. Obviously, I was willing to die for it. I applied for a bench job at the Army Head Quarters, and was lets say, deemed unqualified. Damn, I never completed my studies, I had always wanted to serve my country. To fight for it. To protect the sovereignity. To do what? To become a wounded soldier.

Shh.......

Silence. It is sometimes so deafening, sometimes golden. Silence makes me think. It makes me shout at the top of my voice. It makes me tick. I somehow grow in silence. There are so may silent instances that have shrieked and have made me stand up and think.

Yes I was silent. Totally silent - no "Oh!"s or anything when Dhoni got out in India's World Cup match against Sri Lanka. But the "Oh" was so loud that I could hear it in my sleep the day after and many more instances when I saw the Indian team in chronicles.

It was dark and silent when I saw something on TV which I never could have imagined in my lifetime. Yes it was a quiet evening in early September. It was so dark that it blinded my images for days to come, it was so vivid and yet so silent. The aghast faces of people in Manhattan were so silent from inside that they were shouting at the top of their voices.

Then it is a silent refusal to a child beggar. You know that you really want to help this child - but begging won't lead them to anywhere. But the indifference around you shuts you up. You become silent. You refuse the child who is willing to cry for money. Remember when I used to cry for chocolate when I already had had one.

Then it is a silent nod when you stare at the TV and obey to what the politicians say. Last two weeks I had a crash course on politics when I saw a ministry's tyranny. When I thought that I never have voted - I deserve these leaders. People talk of rebellion Rang de Basanti style. But they remain silent. They just nod and accept what leaders say. Because we are used to being told what we should do.

Our heart is always silent. It doesn't speak a thing. It never will until it dies out in pain. Because it knows what it has to do. We all one day become like the heart. Take in the bad blood, do our duty! Silently - that is.

Finally, one dies silently. Everything inside is silent! Our body silences itself. No matter one wants to cry. The body is happy to be silent - this silence is golden!

Chicken or Egg?

By the time he had taken his bath, he was already running late. He felt a bit hungry at the same time scared of his boss's reaction. These emotions made him see his boss in the shape of a chicken sitting on those eggs.

"I'm not chicken! I would first satisfy my hunger by having eggs!" he thought. And he started to break the the first egg in a bowl.

"Don't break it." It was the voice of his boss.

"Excuse me sir? Where are you speaking from?" he enquired, out of surprise.

"From inside the egg, you fool! You lack such common sense, who hired you?" the voice replied.

"Uhhh, sir you only did."

"Shut up, that is anyways besides the point now. Now, obey me."

"With all due respect sir, I am bit more than hungry and I think you would have heard that one should have breakfast like a king! I am just having two eggs!"

Suddenly the voice died. There was no more a response from the egg or anywhere else. He thought he had won the verbal duel. But he was ignorant that the battle might be over, but the war was still going on.

He decided to break the egg's shell this time. As he was about to hit it, the phone rang.

"Hello!"

"Hi. This is an Automatic Reminder System. Your status meeting is in thirty minutes. Ting Tong."

He was relieved, he could make fried eggs and reach office in half an hour. "That can be done!" he said aloud.

So once again, began the journey of the knife, expecting to break the shell. Before anything could happen another voice spoke.

"Will I be able to accomplish my goal in the near future?"

"I'm sorry. Uhhhh who is this now?" he irritatedly enquired.

"The knife you fool! I am the knife. See, ever since you woke me from my sleep, I knew my destiny. My ultimate goal! That being a soft landing on the shell of an egg, hard enough to crack it. It is a law of nature - to achieve your goal, one should see it from close by. As I always start by seeing the egg's shell just under me. Then go as far as possible - only to return stronger and more willing to achieve the goal. The same way I also did. But I am still to achieve it. You always stop me before I get to land. So please, I have gone through this natural cycle again and again, only to be stopped by your unnatural force."

"If you would stop preaching, I will be able to fulfil both our goals. I swear to god this time around I will break the damn egg."

There began another journey of the knife to fulfil its goal. Trrrrrrrrrrrrrring.

Not again!!!, he thought. The phone was ringing, and in a tussle between a shrieking phone call and the breaking of the egg, the phone call always wins.

"Hello!" he said exasperatedly.

"Man, the cable isn't coming since an hour. When will it come?"

"The cable? Uh what? I think you've got..."

"We pay freaking four hundred bucks for your crappy service, and when I want to see the freaking rerun of KSBKBT - as yesterday the world cup didn't let me see it - I freaking see a blank screen!!!"

"Ma'am, calm down. I am not the cable operator - you've got the wrong number!"

"Oh just shut up you. Will you! I know all you liars. Now you say wrong number. And when you guys freaking call me and ask me when you should come to collect the bill then it is the right number. You creatures! I will complain with the police!"

"Go ahead!"

"What? You aren't scared of the police?"

"Ma'am for the last time. I don't care if your cable isn't coming. But you go ahead and do what you want to. And don't call back." Click.

So where was I.... he wondered.

He had a knife in his hand and he couldn't recollect what it was for. And when he reached the kitchen he saw there were two broken eggs lying on the floor.

Then he realized. "Good god! They broke" he shouted at the top of the voice.

Squeak Squeak.

He turned back, astonished! There were two chickens who had come out of the eggs.

Trrrrrrrrring. The phone ran again.

He picked up the phone and said a very weak hello.

"Squeak squeak" the other side responded.

"Excuse me what are you saying? Why are you making chicken sounds?"

"Dear, since when did you started considering your girlfriend a chicken?"....

Existence - The Why

In the conscious world, one hardly questions existence. The abundance of entities that we could associate with existence often blindside our ability to raise this question. But this question surely pops in the surreal world. The question is how often do we really react to it or even think about it for a minuscule amount of time.

Why do we exist?

We exist as we are not challenged by a force to not to exist. That is probably the most logical conclusion to the question. But it could also be true that there is a force which enhances our chances of existence. Let us consider both cases and analyze them as logically as we can.

Suppose we go with the first theory. There are many positive reasons which we can make us believe that the theory is consistent. For instance, an average person would not benefit much by ceasing another person's existence. Contrarily, a person might benefit in such a case but then doesn't act on this because one fear's their own existence might get terminated. So therefore we can put it this way - the force which doesn't let existence cease is existence itself. Hence, we conclude that existence is self-sustaining. Therefore the gestation of any existence ensures that its initial force wouldn't let it terminate. The first theory can be substantiated by translating it into the force which brought about existence changes its function later to not let it cease. But all the time in this analysis, we looked at the macro picture. There are some assumptions which we had made. The first being, we assumed that the existence is infinite. That is there is no constraint which doesn't let it grow. Because at a certain micro level, there will be one or more forms of forces which maintain existence that they will compete with each other. So with this light, we can say that the initial gestation force sustains the individual existence. But the sum of all forces lead to maintenance.

Now let us think about the other theory. This theory says that there is a force which enhances existence in all forms. This is different from the earlier theory in the way that the first theory's force supports maintenance while in this case, enhancement. If we analyze this, an existence will always try and improve its chance. It leads us to think that this force will ideally converge to our earlier theory. Because chances of existence cannot be measured per say, maintenance and enhancement of sustenance is one and the same thing.

Hence we can finally define the force which gestates, sustains, but it can be in any measure of probability that the existence can be sustained. Also, amongst all forces, they hinder each other's probability, but the expectation of all probabilities is positive existence.

What is the probability of existence then?