Nostalgia

Bangalore holds for me very refreshing memories of my life. A few months back when I was here, I'd not known that I will be come back and stay here for a longer period. The fact that for a very few days I was here, I'd seen the whole of Bangalore, makes me lazy to go out anywhere these days. Plus, the nostalgia which sets in and reminds me of the person I miss!

The smell of a lovely coffee at Cafe Coffe Day, the late nights at Barista@Barton Center, the fresh sense of youth at the Brigade Road, the shelter from the rain at the Forum Mall and the cool breeze every evening are just some of the things which make me realise that there is something missing in my life.

It had to be, I knew that I had to be far away, but it really hurts when someone's gone and you are left alone at the same place. The things one enjoys here are the things that saddens me sometimes, for all those moments I had enjoyed!

Jaggery Tales

One morning, I suddenly woke up at 5 am. It felt that someone was banging on the door. Very hard. Thak thak thak thak......

I woke up to see the time on my watch. It read 11 am.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaate again!!!"

That is what my inner soul shouted. But I suddenly realised that when someboday was on the door it felt like it was 5 am. Where did I lose my 6 hours? Then I realised I had a taste of jaggery in my mouth. I went to my kitchen and a lively aroma of makke ki roti was present there....

I woke up and glanced at my watch : 5.10 am. Ahhh bad dream, but a tasty one. Then I realised that why am I waking up again and again at such an early time? Yes, the door was still banging, and it was even louder this time. I went up to the door and very politely asked,

"Kaun hai subeh subeh?"

My dear friend from Pakistan had come. His name was Iqbal. I had met him in Canada where we both had worked for in the summers.

"Iqbal bhai, you in India? You never told me, when did you come."

"Actually was here for a conference. And my flight reached Mumbai today morning, and have straight away come to your house. Thought will give u a pleasent surprise."

"Mast kia aapne! So do you wanna rest?"

"No, look I have brought food from my house, lets warm it right away, we dont have time to sleep".

Iqbal was always this energetic! And soon we were habving Makki ki Roti with some jaggery. I suddenly realised that is what I had smelt in the dream. The very same smell of Makki and the taste of jaggery.

"Hey Iqbal, a very strange thing happened this morning. I had this dream that I have just had the very same food we are having right now!

Iqbal bhai, why aren't you listening, Iqbal.. Iqbaaaaaaaal! "

I suddenly woke up and found that it was a dream. And I knew that now I was awake for real because the watch showed a decent time 8.30 AM. But soon I rembered that today Iqbal had to come to visit me.

This makes me remember the lines by Gulzar...

"Subah subah ik khwab ki dastak par darwaza khola, dekha
Sarhad ke us paar se kuchh mehmaan aaye hain
Aankhon se maanoos the saarey

Chehre saarey sune sunaaye
Paanv dhoye, Haath dhulaye
Aangan mein aasan lagwaaye...
Aur tannoor pe makki ke kuchh mote mote rot pakaye
Potli mein mehmaan mere
Pichhale saalon ki faslon ka gud laaye the

Aankh khuli to dekha ghar mein koi nahin tha
Haath lagakar dekha to tannoor abhi tak bujha nahin tha
Aur hothon pe meethe gud ka jaayka ab tak chipak raha tha

Khwab tha shayad!
Khwab hi hoga! !
Sarhad par kal raat, suna hai, chali thi goli
Sarhad par kal raat, suna hai
Kuchh khwaabon ka khoon hua hai"

The Fall Season

Yesterday I found my diary, in which I used to keep old labels, bills, or any piece of paper which could have served my memory. As I was going through it, I came across a dry leaf, a darkly orange coloured leaf which was as dry as the memory which it represented...

A few years back I first saw her. She was standing on the bus stop wearing a pair of black jeans and a black denim top and she looked like a pretty innocent girl. I called her up and told her that I have parked my car a little ahead. I saw her coming towards me from the rear-view mirror. As she was just near the door, I opened it for her and a leaf rushed in my car....

It was a sunny afternoon when I received an sms : "Hey where are you? I am standing on the bus stop for an hour now. My balance is very low currently :("

As I had nothing better to do I called the number. A very soft spoken and a sweet voice picked up,

"Hello!"

"As your balance is very low, I though I should call up. I guess you sent your SMS to the wrong number and from your SMS it looks like you are stuck somewhere."

"Yeah so why did you call up?"

"I guess I can help you, alteast I can make your sms reach the right person."

I don't know what magic happened, but as she said that she was stood up by someone and she was waiting at a bus stop, she asked me if I can pick her up and take her somewhere for lunch...

When we were returning from the lunch that day, she looked at the trees and said, when old leaves are falling off, the tree hopes that spring will come soon, but there is a cold winter before that. And then she said, you really saved my day today, I didn't pass through a winter phase.

After that we used to regularly chat on the phone. She was my regular cup of evening tea it seemed. One day on a cold winter evening she called me and announced, " I think I love Dheeraj."

Nah, it wasn't as if I had any feelings for the girl, but to know that she liked someone just saddened me. I did not react to it. My winter had started and her spring! She conveyed to me her happy instances with her new found love and as a nice friend I always heard what she had to say. I was happy as long as she was...

One day I realised that I had some feelings for her, after a lot of thought that is. The very same day she told me she is planning to break up with Dheeraj. It was a mixed reation which I gave. I simply said, "Yes you are too young to commit, you will certainly get a good person in your life.."

The next summer she left for her studies to The States, and by that time I was certain I had no feelings for her then...

After a week had passed, I was sitting in a coffee shop when I got a call from an unknown number...I could just hear her hello and the voice cut out....

Exactly after a year when I had gotten her SMS, I got another one which read: "I am sad, I had a bf here and we juz broke up!"

"I hope I was there. I really luv u, did u know that!"

"Huh! I though it was me who did, you never proposed!"

Aur pfhir purana mausam laauta, yaad bhari purvai bhi...