My First Patient - Episode 12

"You, why are you doing this to me?"

She asked me this question every day. After she was advised bed rest by the doctor, due to the heavy blood loss, I was always with her, nursing her. But she used to feel more and more guilty day by day. I had regarded her awful action as a fit of anger, and I thought this only shows how much she loved me.

The pretty girl who has shot my girlfriend, got nothing out of saving my life. We had hardly known each other for a day, and I explained her my situation, of course after thanking her a million times. So all was well from my side, I had no anger whatsoever.

Lying on the bed, she didn't speak much, just used to ask me if I had seriously forgiven her.

"There is nothing to forgive you for, I know what you did was bad, but it was out of love and anger. I guess I can just take out all your anger and then everything will be back to normal. You are not a criminal for god's sakes!"

We had dissolved the whole issue as we knew a doctor personally, who took control of the entire situation and no crime was reported. This kept her on bed rest at her roomate's place though, and not at the hospital. And I took the responsibility of visiting her as often as I could.

But slowly as she became healthier, she had become more and more quiet. And realizing that the experience was traumatic for her too, I decided to do something which would make her tickle. I wanted some force to just bring back joy to her life. I couldn't see her like this.

"Hey, there's a bad news sweety"

"Oh, don't tell me, I am as it is very miserable."

"I have to tell you. I have been transferred to the UK office."

"Oh, damn, wasn't it enough that I was shot already and now..... Er, what? How the hell is that a bad news." And she burst into a small laughter. I guess she laughed after a week now.

Oh how well I had cured my first patient. I felt elated. But then I realised what I had to do to make her happy. I had to resign from where I was working, as they weren't prepared to transfer me. Therefore, I had applied to all the firms I could think of in the UK. Hopefully, I will get a job there before it is time for us to leave....

My Mauser - Episode 11

"Come on in." I said as seriously as I could. My strategy was to never let her take control of the conversation.

She followed me inside, where breakfast was already laid.

"Let's talk over breakfast then. Before you say anything, I want to talk about a very serious matter."

Suddenly, I was taken aback when she pulled out a revolver from one of the pockets of the jacket and pointed right at me. As always, my strategies always failed. It seemed that I would no longer be in control of the conversation.

"Don't say a word, just nod," she barked.

I nodded my head and said, "Have you lost your mind?"

She pulled the trigger at the same moment and the bullet missed my temple only by inches I suppose. I knew she was serious.

"Not a word!" was her accompanying statement with the gunshot.

Now I was worried. She had really lost her mind this time, I thought.

"So you want to break-up with me?" I nodded displaying a yes.

"And you know my commitment has never been less for you."

While I started to nod again for yes, she said, "If your answer is yes for this question then you are dead!"

And not realising that truth could be so fatal, I did say yes.

BANG!

Yes a gunshot was heard after I had nodded for a yes. It would have been heard by the neighbours atleast. But, what had to be done was done. I guess it was no one's mistake.

She cried in pain as the bullet had struck her leg. This had saved me from being shot by one of her bullets. I immediately called the police as well as the ambulance. I knew what I had to say to the police as soon as I saw her face in pain. She kept crying in pain. I couldn't see the scene. No more.

It was my Mauser which had saved me today, which was lynig in my drawing room drawer. Yesterday only I had told the girl with whom I had dinner at my appartment that the Mauser existed. And she had saved me in time. Or was it just a great coincidence that I happened to tell her about the gun in time. All's well that ends well I suppose.

My my my - Episode 10

Voice messages always spelled trouble, that is what she always thought. The first time she listened to a voice message, she got the news of her pet dying, she was in college back then and it is rumoured that she had thrown her cellphone in the river. For the things which she couldn't foresee and manipulate, she often used to act aggresively. The question was, had she foreseen that I would dump her some day? I was wondering where her cellphone would be. But I didn't know that she had not listened to her voice messages.

She said, "Mom I am getting late," when her mother was driving her to the airport.
"Don't be so restless, we still have time!"

She was restless to meet me. After she had gone and checked-in at the airport she saw she had time to kill. In fact an hour before the flight departs. Soon she remembered a task which she hadn't done and that would kill some time. In her mind, she thought she would listen to my voice messages and then call me up. We could talk for hours, and I can surely keep her company for an hour. But she realised that it wouldn't happen, when she finally heard the messages.

"Listen dear, we have to break....."

The next moment the phone was still safe, surprisingly. But I guess the rage took to her mind, instead of it being vented out on the phone. After she had listened to my messages, she sat still. And there was not even an iota of reaction apparent on her face. Had she taken it well?

Maybe, but I guess she was implementing a plan of sorts. She continued to take the flight. And when she reached here, she shocked me.

"Hi honey, I have reached. Why didn't you come to pick me up?"

"Uh-er, did you get my voice messages?"

"What voice messages, I guess my phone is acting up lately. Listen dear, am coming to your place, I hope you've taken an off today. And yes make some breakfast for me."

"Hey listen, but, ok come down!"

Now how would I tell her I want to break - up! I guess it was important for us to meet to explain why I was doing so. So I went ahead preparing a nice breakfast, probably the last meal we would have together.

Maybe I was going to be right about the last meal part, in one way or another. She went from the airport to her old roomate's house instead.

"Rini, you have arranged the gun for me?"

"Yes, I hope you know what you're doing!"

"I do, dear, don't you worry..."

I put the pasta for boiling while she put the bullets in the revolver, I sauteed the vegetables while she wore the gloves and took a taxi to my house.

Ding - dong.

My my my how am I going to tell her that I want to break-up! I was having these thoughts as I went to open the door, while she was thinking:

"My my my, I hope my aim is right...."

My Missed Calls - Episode 9

She was a control freak. She always liked to think a couple of steps ahead before making any important decision. Never was she surprised by any event. Like the time when she was eight, she was wise enough to know that parents do say no to their children. At that time she requested for an impossible thing, knowing it would be turned down. But then came up with a lesser version, which she really wanted, and she did get it. Manipulation formed the part of her habit. And at the time she had laid eyes on me, she knew I wouldn't look elsewhere for a long time.

She had gone shopping to buy dresses for her forthcoming week with her boyfriend, when the phone rang. As she always said that she never had enough pockets to carry a mobile phone, she often left it at home. So she did this time, thus the person calling had to be satisfied by just leaving a message on the answering machine. When she returned, she enthusiastically started showing her mother her pretty dresses. While they were at the discussion that which colour suited her best, her eyes ran towards the cell phone lieing on the table. And she realised as soon as she saw the missed call, that who had given it.

"Mother, its always when I forget my cell at home, that my friends call up! It's like these gizmos are not made for me!"

After she had forgotten the missed call in the humour, she went inside to take a nice warm bath. And so it happened that I called back to check at the same time if she had gotten my previous message, only to find her answering machine again. I thought she was deliberately not taking my calls at the moment, she needed time to get over this, moreovoer I didn't worry much as I knew she would handle it very maturely. She was always the mature one.

Seeing the second missed call on her cellphone, she thought how much I was missing her. Not realising what was said on the voice messages, she retired early to her bedroom, to take a nice long sleep so that she could catch an early flight to meet her beloved.

It was only a matter of time that she would hear those voice messages, but the point is will she be prepared for this event to occur in her life - the guy who would never have to look away dump her?

My Comfortably Numb Moment - Episode 8

She made plans to visit me the next week, after which she would leave India. All the times I had with her came back to me, especially the time before she finally went away. Those were the days when I had not known what being in a relationship meant. Those memories were both lively and refreshing and borught an instant smile to my face whenever they came across. For the rest of the week we hardly talked as she became busy in her cousin's wedding ceremony. I, on the other hand, was back to doing my work normally, nor too much and nor less than expected. My friends told me that I should be happy, considering she is alive and life is back to normal. On top of it I was going to have a fantastic week ahead.

I felt I was seeing everything optimistically. Therefore it came to my mind that that maybe this is because I was happy. Work was going at the optimal pace and everything was so smooth. It was a quiet boat ride on a dead river it seemed. It took me a long time to realise it that, I was very artificially happy and was actually comfortably numb.

There were other changes in me, which I found very suprising. For example, I was asked by a girl whom I met at a party the other day if I was single. And I said yes, and I didn't realised what I had said until she called. I picked up the cellphone and said, "Yes dear, will come to pick you up at the airport." Later the girl asked me if it was my sister on the phone and again absent-mindedly I said, "No it was my girlfriend." Surely I ahd to excuse myself and leave the party early. I came home and listened to Pink Floyd for over six hours until I fell asleep.

I wondered what was happening to me, had I become devoid of emotions? Did life suck me off my moods? Or was it just that I was having a long-distance relationship with my sweetheart-cum-girlfriend, who had played a practical joke on me recently and we were having a very formal relationship for many weeks now.

Life is unfair, is what people say. It is sometimes. But one has to understand that a person is either sad because one cannot achieve the happiness or is happy because sadness evades us. At other times when you are not given any reason to be sad, and the reason for you to become happy has altered, no longer giving the same gladness as you desire, you are numb. In my case, I was comfortably numb.

I know what I had to do as soon as I realised it. I called up the last dialled number on my list.
"Listen dear, we have to break-up, I don't think I can continue in this relationship anymore, I know it is really disgracing that I have to do this over the phone, but I had no option. And it is also demeaning that I am doing it over the answering machine, because I want you to get this message as soon as possible so that you could cancel your ticket on time. Take care. Luv...

My Nonplussed Expression - Episode 7

"Don't tell me! You got to be kidding me!", I said.

"I know it was a bad joke. But she had to do this to make sure," another familiar voice from behind.

Without saying a word, I started off and waived my hand to call a Rickshaw-wallah.

"To the airport"

"Hmm, so dear you are going in the rickshaw. I know you were giving me a mental farewell by doing so." she chuckled.

I turned back and said, "you know me..." It was the first time I saw her after a long time. It made me emotionally charged.

"Anyways, I am happy that you are alive, I forgive you despite your pathetic joke, and I don't know where I was going wrong, but it was difficult for me to maintain this long-distance relationship. I get disturbed sometimes, but if you testing me if I loved you still, here you got your answer. And now, am going back to where I was, I guess you will stay here for a month for your holdiays. Don't call me before a week, I will take time to digest this. Then I will make it upto you. Adios."

I had been strong back there. I knew it. And I started off without listening to her. I felt inside me that I had become mature. The thought process had become above thos petty little issues. I planned to start our relationship from a fresh page, now that we had been tested.

The next week I worked more than I was supposed to. My boss definitely enjoyed it.

"Buddy, I thought we'd get this the next week, but you are my man," announced my boss, "and, I have recommended you for a bonus."

That paid off I guess, in one way or another. Exactly on the seventh day, the Sunday, she called. My cellphone was ringing and I was wondering whether to pick it up or not. But I'd move along and had developed that sense to forget the joke.

I picked up the cell and greeted her with a very cold hello.

"Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrie" is what I heard from the other side. "You can't be mad at me for more than that dear."

Her sorry was sort of funny and it did bring a smile to my face after a long time.

"Nothing's gonna change my love for you, you.." played in the background.

My Farewell to my Beloved - Episode 6

I was taken to the hosptial where my wounds were dressed. When I came out of my unconsciousness, I could see Rohit:

"Buddy, tell me one thing are you still in the state of that stupid denial of yours?"

I took time to understand what he was saying and what really had happened.

"Man, can you make arrangements for me, so that I can go to Delhi for the funeral?"

I was kept in the hospital for the weekend, although no major injury was there. It was just Rohit wanting me to stay in bed under supervision. I really slept a lot, maintained my composure, and thought what I was going to say to her parents. They really didn't know how close we were. They probably knew me as a very good friend of hers. Anyways, I wanted to see her once. I had become very mature I thought.

My flight was for Sunday morning, and Rohit had brought my suitcase at the hospital, and I was set to go. I obviously didn't desire anything to eat during the flight and took a taci to her home as soon as I arrived at the airport.

I saw an autorickshaw go by. I remembered the time when we had first went out for a movie. I had taken the same route by an autorickshaw. I had gone to her house and picked her up. While we were in the rickshaw going to the movies, she said,

"There is this guy who proposed to me!"

I rolled my eyes, as if I was not disturbed by that line.

"He wants to go around with me. Its Mahesh, you'd seen him at my birthday party. How do you like him?"

"I don't know, I guess he is ok."

Perhaps she had expected me to become jealous. By that time we were not together, we were on a friendly date. We never talked about this event later. This came out of a corner of my memory, hidden somewhere.

Its like I was rewinding and I guess wanted to end the relationship as I had started it. I was giving her a farewell in my memory. I suddenly told the taxi fellow to stop. I took an autorickshaw instead. Yes, I thought this will be the best way to part from my beloved. I even decided that I will take the autorickshaw back to the airport.

I reached her house and paid off the auto-driver. I stood outside for a moment, staring at the iron gate. Everything looked so silent there. Yes, it was very silent. I wondered if the funeral was supposed to be today or what.

I rang the bell! Goodness gracious, for whole five minutes I stood there and no one answered it. I somehow started to become restless and rang the bell four or five times more. Maybe they had gone to some other relatives house for the ceremony. I knew whom to call - Rohit.

While I was at it, I heard a familiar voice from back.

"Are you looking for someone mister?"

My Denial - Episode 5

So there I was in a complete state of guilt. Somehow I blamed myself for all this. In the last few weeks we had grown so distant, and here she was missing, maybe dead, I would never be able to tell her how much I cared for her. Perhaps she knew it, but it hardly gave me any satisfaction until and unless I saw her and could be sorry for all the things I had done.

Suddenly, all times when I had wronged in the course of our relationship started coming back to me. This made me more and more restless and incapacitated to make all this right.

While I was at it, my dear friend Rohit called me, who by the way always does at these moments,

"Hey man, you sound like crap! Man don't tell me you blaming yourself for all this, you people were busy in your lives, doesn't make you the terrorist who bombed her building! Man I was telling you, be more mature, its how tough long-distance relationships are."

I hadn't heard a word after he had said crap. I really was feeling that low! When he had finished lecturing me I replied,
"Listen carefully, I'm going to UK tomorrow on whichever flight has a seat for me. You just do me one favour, take care of things at home. You know what I mean, don't you?"

Yes I could trust Rohit, I didn't wait for him to say yes! My next call was to my travel agent who confirmed my UK booking for about half as much as I had earned till now. What the hell, it was worth it.

I called up her university to check on the status.
"I am sorry sir. We found her body, she's been added to the dead persons' list now. We're using our chartered flight to send her body to her family members. Sir.. are you with me sir? Sir you got to be strong sir, don't tell me you fainted again!"

Next morning I called my travel agent to cancel my travel plans and then called up Rohit,

"What?" squealed Rohit.

"Yes man, she's playing a game with me, now she's not dead. Its just a small prank of hers. She wants to test me."

"Get a grip man, you have lost it. Listen, don't go to the office, stay at home I will come as soon as possible!"

"Yeah yeah buddy you are in it too? In her small little prank. Well its been too much now!"

I laughed at their joke. And thought that I would get angry for playing such a bad joke. Anyways I picked up my car keys and off I started out to the office.

So there I was in a complete state of denial now.

Suddenly...

BUMP! I don't' remember if it was a truck or a bus, but it was a heavy vehicle which hit my car!
This time I had no choice but to become unconscious....