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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Chicken or Egg?

By the time he had taken his bath, he was already running late. He felt a bit hungry at the same time scared of his boss's reaction. These emotions made him see his boss in the shape of a chicken sitting on those eggs.

"I'm not chicken! I would first satisfy my hunger by having eggs!" he thought. And he started to break the the first egg in a bowl.

"Don't break it." It was the voice of his boss.

"Excuse me sir? Where are you speaking from?" he enquired, out of surprise.

"From inside the egg, you fool! You lack such common sense, who hired you?" the voice replied.

"Uhhh, sir you only did."

"Shut up, that is anyways besides the point now. Now, obey me."

"With all due respect sir, I am bit more than hungry and I think you would have heard that one should have breakfast like a king! I am just having two eggs!"

Suddenly the voice died. There was no more a response from the egg or anywhere else. He thought he had won the verbal duel. But he was ignorant that the battle might be over, but the war was still going on.

He decided to break the egg's shell this time. As he was about to hit it, the phone rang.

"Hello!"

"Hi. This is an Automatic Reminder System. Your status meeting is in thirty minutes. Ting Tong."

He was relieved, he could make fried eggs and reach office in half an hour. "That can be done!" he said aloud.

So once again, began the journey of the knife, expecting to break the shell. Before anything could happen another voice spoke.

"Will I be able to accomplish my goal in the near future?"

"I'm sorry. Uhhhh who is this now?" he irritatedly enquired.

"The knife you fool! I am the knife. See, ever since you woke me from my sleep, I knew my destiny. My ultimate goal! That being a soft landing on the shell of an egg, hard enough to crack it. It is a law of nature - to achieve your goal, one should see it from close by. As I always start by seeing the egg's shell just under me. Then go as far as possible - only to return stronger and more willing to achieve the goal. The same way I also did. But I am still to achieve it. You always stop me before I get to land. So please, I have gone through this natural cycle again and again, only to be stopped by your unnatural force."

"If you would stop preaching, I will be able to fulfil both our goals. I swear to god this time around I will break the damn egg."

There began another journey of the knife to fulfil its goal. Trrrrrrrrrrrrrring.

Not again!!!, he thought. The phone was ringing, and in a tussle between a shrieking phone call and the breaking of the egg, the phone call always wins.

"Hello!" he said exasperatedly.

"Man, the cable isn't coming since an hour. When will it come?"

"The cable? Uh what? I think you've got..."

"We pay freaking four hundred bucks for your crappy service, and when I want to see the freaking rerun of KSBKBT - as yesterday the world cup didn't let me see it - I freaking see a blank screen!!!"

"Ma'am, calm down. I am not the cable operator - you've got the wrong number!"

"Oh just shut up you. Will you! I know all you liars. Now you say wrong number. And when you guys freaking call me and ask me when you should come to collect the bill then it is the right number. You creatures! I will complain with the police!"

"Go ahead!"

"What? You aren't scared of the police?"

"Ma'am for the last time. I don't care if your cable isn't coming. But you go ahead and do what you want to. And don't call back." Click.

So where was I.... he wondered.

He had a knife in his hand and he couldn't recollect what it was for. And when he reached the kitchen he saw there were two broken eggs lying on the floor.

Then he realized. "Good god! They broke" he shouted at the top of the voice.

Squeak Squeak.

He turned back, astonished! There were two chickens who had come out of the eggs.

Trrrrrrrrring. The phone ran again.

He picked up the phone and said a very weak hello.

"Squeak squeak" the other side responded.

"Excuse me what are you saying? Why are you making chicken sounds?"

"Dear, since when did you started considering your girlfriend a chicken?"....