Coffee and a Cig

"You want to go for a cup of coffee?" asked Kat.
"Sure, although I want to go for a smoke, I will join you." replied Sid.


They walked on the winding foot path leading to a small open cafe. That was their usual meeting place. While it seemed like they were dating, they weren't. They were what at best two casual friends can become. Kat was as addicted to coffee, as Sid was to fags.

"When are you planning to leave that bad habit?"
"Whenever you leave yours!"

"What? Coffee is nor as addictive and neither as unhealthy as cigarettes."
"OK, whatever, addiction is addiction. You can't leave it one fine day. It takes time. Well can you leave your coffee, well say today?"

"Yes I can. If I believe it is very unhealthy. OK lets do one thing, I wont have coffee today, you don't have your cigs. We will both go and have apple juice then."
"Whatever. We will see."

"No promise me, we will start from today."
"OK OK. Lets go about it today. And the time I catch you having a sip of that caffeine-heavy drink, you will know where the smoke is coming from!"

"Uh waiter, please get us two glasses of fresh Apple juice." "So, hows auntie and uncle?"
"Gosh, tum bhi na roz roz. You ask me the same question everyday. I hardly call them, say once a week."

"Well, you should call them more often then. They are your parents! Anyways, how is your old friend these days? The one who used to call you like five times a day?"
"Well, that friend is no longer in my life. I am damn happy about this fact. And no more questions on this topic."

"OK, well" In the meantime the waiter came and served them two glasses of Apple Juice. "Well this doesn't look fresh. Waiter....... did you bring it out of a can?"
The waiter totally ignored the question and took the glasses away, and quickly brought two new glasses which apparently satisfied Kat.
"Well that's what you call fresh juice!"
"You are too particular! Loosen up!"

"Why should I loosen up? You know what happens when one drinks canned juice?"
"What? One dies? Right" "Ha ha ha, as I said loosen up"

"Ok ok. Anyways, so where were we?"
"In a cafe!"

"Ha ha ha, nice joke really. That is what your idea of loosening up was?" "Ha ha ha."
"Yes. I have another idea."

Sid got up and kissed on Kat's cheeks.

"What are you doing Siddhi. You are a girl."
"Well Kartik, being a boy you should be the one doing this long ago!"

to be continued....

Wounded Soldier

Silence. That is what it was. The bullet hit my stomach and tore it apart. And I had become silent. I was famous for my very loud war cry, but today a small bullet had silenced me. The purpose of standing in the way of that bullet was unclear to me once it hit me. Why was I prepared to die for my country? If I kill a hundred soldiers behind the enemy line, what would the country give me? Then it came to my mind, satisfaction to have served the nation. But the question arises, what comprises of a nation? Geographical proximity, cultural history or just a sovereign government? Is it a group of people who are governing this country, are the people whom I am really serving. They represent the nation. But do they?

I am about to die and am confused. Am not a tiny bit satisfied with my death. Why should I protect my government when it just comprises of corrupt politicians. What will happen if I don't protect them. There will be another bunch of losers who will govern us. It may become a little worse, but it ain't getting better either right now. My soul cries, my senses die down and I think I have reached death, I think I have finished my journey, I think I will soon fade away in this brightly lit universe.

It must be days after which I would have opened my eyes. Oh dear, so what they said was true. There is indeed life after death, cause last time I checked, I was dying. But then, it wasn't so rosy as I had thought, I was still residing in that dark universe. I was saved by a doctor, to be thrown back into this universe, which I despised greatly now. But it was worse, I was paralysed, and wasn't able to walk. I was thrown out of the army, paralysed, without a job to do, and a meagerly pension to live with.

It would have been better if I would have died, I thought. I was a wounded soldier, the worst form a human being can be in. Then I thought the nation will help me. Obviously, I was willing to die for it. I applied for a bench job at the Army Head Quarters, and was lets say, deemed unqualified. Damn, I never completed my studies, I had always wanted to serve my country. To fight for it. To protect the sovereignity. To do what? To become a wounded soldier.

Shh.......

Silence. It is sometimes so deafening, sometimes golden. Silence makes me think. It makes me shout at the top of my voice. It makes me tick. I somehow grow in silence. There are so may silent instances that have shrieked and have made me stand up and think.

Yes I was silent. Totally silent - no "Oh!"s or anything when Dhoni got out in India's World Cup match against Sri Lanka. But the "Oh" was so loud that I could hear it in my sleep the day after and many more instances when I saw the Indian team in chronicles.

It was dark and silent when I saw something on TV which I never could have imagined in my lifetime. Yes it was a quiet evening in early September. It was so dark that it blinded my images for days to come, it was so vivid and yet so silent. The aghast faces of people in Manhattan were so silent from inside that they were shouting at the top of their voices.

Then it is a silent refusal to a child beggar. You know that you really want to help this child - but begging won't lead them to anywhere. But the indifference around you shuts you up. You become silent. You refuse the child who is willing to cry for money. Remember when I used to cry for chocolate when I already had had one.

Then it is a silent nod when you stare at the TV and obey to what the politicians say. Last two weeks I had a crash course on politics when I saw a ministry's tyranny. When I thought that I never have voted - I deserve these leaders. People talk of rebellion Rang de Basanti style. But they remain silent. They just nod and accept what leaders say. Because we are used to being told what we should do.

Our heart is always silent. It doesn't speak a thing. It never will until it dies out in pain. Because it knows what it has to do. We all one day become like the heart. Take in the bad blood, do our duty! Silently - that is.

Finally, one dies silently. Everything inside is silent! Our body silences itself. No matter one wants to cry. The body is happy to be silent - this silence is golden!

Chicken or Egg?

By the time he had taken his bath, he was already running late. He felt a bit hungry at the same time scared of his boss's reaction. These emotions made him see his boss in the shape of a chicken sitting on those eggs.

"I'm not chicken! I would first satisfy my hunger by having eggs!" he thought. And he started to break the the first egg in a bowl.

"Don't break it." It was the voice of his boss.

"Excuse me sir? Where are you speaking from?" he enquired, out of surprise.

"From inside the egg, you fool! You lack such common sense, who hired you?" the voice replied.

"Uhhh, sir you only did."

"Shut up, that is anyways besides the point now. Now, obey me."

"With all due respect sir, I am bit more than hungry and I think you would have heard that one should have breakfast like a king! I am just having two eggs!"

Suddenly the voice died. There was no more a response from the egg or anywhere else. He thought he had won the verbal duel. But he was ignorant that the battle might be over, but the war was still going on.

He decided to break the egg's shell this time. As he was about to hit it, the phone rang.

"Hello!"

"Hi. This is an Automatic Reminder System. Your status meeting is in thirty minutes. Ting Tong."

He was relieved, he could make fried eggs and reach office in half an hour. "That can be done!" he said aloud.

So once again, began the journey of the knife, expecting to break the shell. Before anything could happen another voice spoke.

"Will I be able to accomplish my goal in the near future?"

"I'm sorry. Uhhhh who is this now?" he irritatedly enquired.

"The knife you fool! I am the knife. See, ever since you woke me from my sleep, I knew my destiny. My ultimate goal! That being a soft landing on the shell of an egg, hard enough to crack it. It is a law of nature - to achieve your goal, one should see it from close by. As I always start by seeing the egg's shell just under me. Then go as far as possible - only to return stronger and more willing to achieve the goal. The same way I also did. But I am still to achieve it. You always stop me before I get to land. So please, I have gone through this natural cycle again and again, only to be stopped by your unnatural force."

"If you would stop preaching, I will be able to fulfil both our goals. I swear to god this time around I will break the damn egg."

There began another journey of the knife to fulfil its goal. Trrrrrrrrrrrrrring.

Not again!!!, he thought. The phone was ringing, and in a tussle between a shrieking phone call and the breaking of the egg, the phone call always wins.

"Hello!" he said exasperatedly.

"Man, the cable isn't coming since an hour. When will it come?"

"The cable? Uh what? I think you've got..."

"We pay freaking four hundred bucks for your crappy service, and when I want to see the freaking rerun of KSBKBT - as yesterday the world cup didn't let me see it - I freaking see a blank screen!!!"

"Ma'am, calm down. I am not the cable operator - you've got the wrong number!"

"Oh just shut up you. Will you! I know all you liars. Now you say wrong number. And when you guys freaking call me and ask me when you should come to collect the bill then it is the right number. You creatures! I will complain with the police!"

"Go ahead!"

"What? You aren't scared of the police?"

"Ma'am for the last time. I don't care if your cable isn't coming. But you go ahead and do what you want to. And don't call back." Click.

So where was I.... he wondered.

He had a knife in his hand and he couldn't recollect what it was for. And when he reached the kitchen he saw there were two broken eggs lying on the floor.

Then he realized. "Good god! They broke" he shouted at the top of the voice.

Squeak Squeak.

He turned back, astonished! There were two chickens who had come out of the eggs.

Trrrrrrrrring. The phone ran again.

He picked up the phone and said a very weak hello.

"Squeak squeak" the other side responded.

"Excuse me what are you saying? Why are you making chicken sounds?"

"Dear, since when did you started considering your girlfriend a chicken?"....

Existence - The Why

In the conscious world, one hardly questions existence. The abundance of entities that we could associate with existence often blindside our ability to raise this question. But this question surely pops in the surreal world. The question is how often do we really react to it or even think about it for a minuscule amount of time.

Why do we exist?

We exist as we are not challenged by a force to not to exist. That is probably the most logical conclusion to the question. But it could also be true that there is a force which enhances our chances of existence. Let us consider both cases and analyze them as logically as we can.

Suppose we go with the first theory. There are many positive reasons which we can make us believe that the theory is consistent. For instance, an average person would not benefit much by ceasing another person's existence. Contrarily, a person might benefit in such a case but then doesn't act on this because one fear's their own existence might get terminated. So therefore we can put it this way - the force which doesn't let existence cease is existence itself. Hence, we conclude that existence is self-sustaining. Therefore the gestation of any existence ensures that its initial force wouldn't let it terminate. The first theory can be substantiated by translating it into the force which brought about existence changes its function later to not let it cease. But all the time in this analysis, we looked at the macro picture. There are some assumptions which we had made. The first being, we assumed that the existence is infinite. That is there is no constraint which doesn't let it grow. Because at a certain micro level, there will be one or more forms of forces which maintain existence that they will compete with each other. So with this light, we can say that the initial gestation force sustains the individual existence. But the sum of all forces lead to maintenance.

Now let us think about the other theory. This theory says that there is a force which enhances existence in all forms. This is different from the earlier theory in the way that the first theory's force supports maintenance while in this case, enhancement. If we analyze this, an existence will always try and improve its chance. It leads us to think that this force will ideally converge to our earlier theory. Because chances of existence cannot be measured per say, maintenance and enhancement of sustenance is one and the same thing.

Hence we can finally define the force which gestates, sustains, but it can be in any measure of probability that the existence can be sustained. Also, amongst all forces, they hinder each other's probability, but the expectation of all probabilities is positive existence.

What is the probability of existence then?

Silent Lyrics

Your picture hangs in my memory
Your smile etched in my mind
Your voice is in my melody
Your eyes makes me go wild

Loving you is like being in a nursery
Full of naughty little children
Playing with toys and teddies and being merry
And games they play which they always win

I write this short verse
To dedicate our love
And let it be better or worse,
There'll be no end to my love.

Hindalco's acquisition of Novelis

The Money Trail

Payoff : $ 6 billion for $ 8.5 billion revenue (2005) and $ 2.4 billion debts, $ 170 million (3Q2006) loss company.
Offer : $ 44.93/share against $ 38.54 traded at NYSE. (17% premium)

Fund distribution:
Debt : $ 2.4 billion
$ 450 million - Hindalco
$ 300 million - SL Iron Ore Mining

SPVs (Special Purpose Vehicles)
AV Metals, Canada - Recourse Finance
Another - Non - recourse Finance

Fund Raisers:
ABN Amro Bank, UBS and Bank of America

Legal advisor:
Torys of Canada.

Financial Advisor for Novelis:
Morgan Stanley.

Prjoected Turnover for Hindalco : $11.8 Billion (2007-2008)

Birla's Sun rises, Hindalco Humongous - Globally

• AV Birla at the threshold of the Fortune 500 list three years ahead of target. (DNA Money, July 2005)
  
• Hindalco Rank 5 as an integrated Aluminium unit.
• Hindalco Rank 1 in flat rolled aluminium maker.
• Double's Hindalco's turnover.
• 20% of workforce outside India for Hindalco.
• Birla group reaches 1 Lack after 12,500 employees come in.

Aluminium Affair

• Novelis - Bauxite reserves aren't there, therefore forcing it to buy Alumina from spot markets.
• High end technology ( cans, car sheets ) will be available to Hindalco.
• Downstream company (Novelis) allows Hindalco (lowest cost aluminium producer) to be resistant against price fluctuations.
• Flat rolled products - 19% share, FRP = 40% of Aluminium market.

The Experience of expansion

In 2003, Hindalco became a majority stake holder in Utkal Alumina, its joint venture with Alcan to develop alumina mines. In 2006, the company acquired the rolling mill (30,000 tpa) and wire rod facilities (14,400 tonnes) of Pennar Aluminium, from the Asset Reconstruction Company.

Seal the Deal

Architects: Debu Bhattacharya (Head, Reatail Ventures, ex-CFO, group)
Sunirmal Talukdar (CFO, Hindalco)
Muthu Kumar, Sashi Maudgal, Sachin Satporte, S Roy, KG Lokve and A Mathew.

The old horses: The old organization stays, it rooted for Hindalco against others competitors.
Final Stamping: 66.66% shareholders(widely held by hedge funds and banks) should accept, others will be squeezed out.

Novelis Negotiates

Novelis is the world's largest flat-rolled aluminium products company. It has clients like coke and Jaguar(car sheets). Holding 19% of market-share, the $8.5 billion company ran out of steam probably due to the fixed-rate contracts (going up to 2011). It recorded losses in tune to $170 million in the 3Q of 2006(calendar year). Also, the debts of the company had risen to $2.5 billion. Therefore it needed a holder which could compensate for the debts. The company respected the Indian companies and the employees rooted for Hindalco amongst other sealed bids received.

Road Ahead

• Firstly, the shareholders' approval.
  
• The debt ratio of Birla group will rise from 0.2-0.3 to a higher ration.
• Increase profitability of Novelis.
  
• Despite the fact that Novelis has fixed - price contracts with companies till 2011.
  
• Ensure that the new holding doesn't hit other greenfield expansions.

My Cold Closing - Concluding Episode

Everything went well. Yes it did, indeed, as my company finally offered me a transfer. I felt I have learnt many things.

As cold as I can make this story ends here. Yes! The life after this is still uncertain. I do not know what will happen in the future.

Maybe I will come up with another series in the future

Adi

My First Patient - Episode 12

"You, why are you doing this to me?"

She asked me this question every day. After she was advised bed rest by the doctor, due to the heavy blood loss, I was always with her, nursing her. But she used to feel more and more guilty day by day. I had regarded her awful action as a fit of anger, and I thought this only shows how much she loved me.

The pretty girl who has shot my girlfriend, got nothing out of saving my life. We had hardly known each other for a day, and I explained her my situation, of course after thanking her a million times. So all was well from my side, I had no anger whatsoever.

Lying on the bed, she didn't speak much, just used to ask me if I had seriously forgiven her.

"There is nothing to forgive you for, I know what you did was bad, but it was out of love and anger. I guess I can just take out all your anger and then everything will be back to normal. You are not a criminal for god's sakes!"

We had dissolved the whole issue as we knew a doctor personally, who took control of the entire situation and no crime was reported. This kept her on bed rest at her roomate's place though, and not at the hospital. And I took the responsibility of visiting her as often as I could.

But slowly as she became healthier, she had become more and more quiet. And realizing that the experience was traumatic for her too, I decided to do something which would make her tickle. I wanted some force to just bring back joy to her life. I couldn't see her like this.

"Hey, there's a bad news sweety"

"Oh, don't tell me, I am as it is very miserable."

"I have to tell you. I have been transferred to the UK office."

"Oh, damn, wasn't it enough that I was shot already and now..... Er, what? How the hell is that a bad news." And she burst into a small laughter. I guess she laughed after a week now.

Oh how well I had cured my first patient. I felt elated. But then I realised what I had to do to make her happy. I had to resign from where I was working, as they weren't prepared to transfer me. Therefore, I had applied to all the firms I could think of in the UK. Hopefully, I will get a job there before it is time for us to leave....

My Mauser - Episode 11

"Come on in." I said as seriously as I could. My strategy was to never let her take control of the conversation.

She followed me inside, where breakfast was already laid.

"Let's talk over breakfast then. Before you say anything, I want to talk about a very serious matter."

Suddenly, I was taken aback when she pulled out a revolver from one of the pockets of the jacket and pointed right at me. As always, my strategies always failed. It seemed that I would no longer be in control of the conversation.

"Don't say a word, just nod," she barked.

I nodded my head and said, "Have you lost your mind?"

She pulled the trigger at the same moment and the bullet missed my temple only by inches I suppose. I knew she was serious.

"Not a word!" was her accompanying statement with the gunshot.

Now I was worried. She had really lost her mind this time, I thought.

"So you want to break-up with me?" I nodded displaying a yes.

"And you know my commitment has never been less for you."

While I started to nod again for yes, she said, "If your answer is yes for this question then you are dead!"

And not realising that truth could be so fatal, I did say yes.

BANG!

Yes a gunshot was heard after I had nodded for a yes. It would have been heard by the neighbours atleast. But, what had to be done was done. I guess it was no one's mistake.

She cried in pain as the bullet had struck her leg. This had saved me from being shot by one of her bullets. I immediately called the police as well as the ambulance. I knew what I had to say to the police as soon as I saw her face in pain. She kept crying in pain. I couldn't see the scene. No more.

It was my Mauser which had saved me today, which was lynig in my drawing room drawer. Yesterday only I had told the girl with whom I had dinner at my appartment that the Mauser existed. And she had saved me in time. Or was it just a great coincidence that I happened to tell her about the gun in time. All's well that ends well I suppose.

My my my - Episode 10

Voice messages always spelled trouble, that is what she always thought. The first time she listened to a voice message, she got the news of her pet dying, she was in college back then and it is rumoured that she had thrown her cellphone in the river. For the things which she couldn't foresee and manipulate, she often used to act aggresively. The question was, had she foreseen that I would dump her some day? I was wondering where her cellphone would be. But I didn't know that she had not listened to her voice messages.

She said, "Mom I am getting late," when her mother was driving her to the airport.
"Don't be so restless, we still have time!"

She was restless to meet me. After she had gone and checked-in at the airport she saw she had time to kill. In fact an hour before the flight departs. Soon she remembered a task which she hadn't done and that would kill some time. In her mind, she thought she would listen to my voice messages and then call me up. We could talk for hours, and I can surely keep her company for an hour. But she realised that it wouldn't happen, when she finally heard the messages.

"Listen dear, we have to break....."

The next moment the phone was still safe, surprisingly. But I guess the rage took to her mind, instead of it being vented out on the phone. After she had listened to my messages, she sat still. And there was not even an iota of reaction apparent on her face. Had she taken it well?

Maybe, but I guess she was implementing a plan of sorts. She continued to take the flight. And when she reached here, she shocked me.

"Hi honey, I have reached. Why didn't you come to pick me up?"

"Uh-er, did you get my voice messages?"

"What voice messages, I guess my phone is acting up lately. Listen dear, am coming to your place, I hope you've taken an off today. And yes make some breakfast for me."

"Hey listen, but, ok come down!"

Now how would I tell her I want to break - up! I guess it was important for us to meet to explain why I was doing so. So I went ahead preparing a nice breakfast, probably the last meal we would have together.

Maybe I was going to be right about the last meal part, in one way or another. She went from the airport to her old roomate's house instead.

"Rini, you have arranged the gun for me?"

"Yes, I hope you know what you're doing!"

"I do, dear, don't you worry..."

I put the pasta for boiling while she put the bullets in the revolver, I sauteed the vegetables while she wore the gloves and took a taxi to my house.

Ding - dong.

My my my how am I going to tell her that I want to break-up! I was having these thoughts as I went to open the door, while she was thinking:

"My my my, I hope my aim is right...."

My Missed Calls - Episode 9

She was a control freak. She always liked to think a couple of steps ahead before making any important decision. Never was she surprised by any event. Like the time when she was eight, she was wise enough to know that parents do say no to their children. At that time she requested for an impossible thing, knowing it would be turned down. But then came up with a lesser version, which she really wanted, and she did get it. Manipulation formed the part of her habit. And at the time she had laid eyes on me, she knew I wouldn't look elsewhere for a long time.

She had gone shopping to buy dresses for her forthcoming week with her boyfriend, when the phone rang. As she always said that she never had enough pockets to carry a mobile phone, she often left it at home. So she did this time, thus the person calling had to be satisfied by just leaving a message on the answering machine. When she returned, she enthusiastically started showing her mother her pretty dresses. While they were at the discussion that which colour suited her best, her eyes ran towards the cell phone lieing on the table. And she realised as soon as she saw the missed call, that who had given it.

"Mother, its always when I forget my cell at home, that my friends call up! It's like these gizmos are not made for me!"

After she had forgotten the missed call in the humour, she went inside to take a nice warm bath. And so it happened that I called back to check at the same time if she had gotten my previous message, only to find her answering machine again. I thought she was deliberately not taking my calls at the moment, she needed time to get over this, moreovoer I didn't worry much as I knew she would handle it very maturely. She was always the mature one.

Seeing the second missed call on her cellphone, she thought how much I was missing her. Not realising what was said on the voice messages, she retired early to her bedroom, to take a nice long sleep so that she could catch an early flight to meet her beloved.

It was only a matter of time that she would hear those voice messages, but the point is will she be prepared for this event to occur in her life - the guy who would never have to look away dump her?

My Comfortably Numb Moment - Episode 8

She made plans to visit me the next week, after which she would leave India. All the times I had with her came back to me, especially the time before she finally went away. Those were the days when I had not known what being in a relationship meant. Those memories were both lively and refreshing and borught an instant smile to my face whenever they came across. For the rest of the week we hardly talked as she became busy in her cousin's wedding ceremony. I, on the other hand, was back to doing my work normally, nor too much and nor less than expected. My friends told me that I should be happy, considering she is alive and life is back to normal. On top of it I was going to have a fantastic week ahead.

I felt I was seeing everything optimistically. Therefore it came to my mind that that maybe this is because I was happy. Work was going at the optimal pace and everything was so smooth. It was a quiet boat ride on a dead river it seemed. It took me a long time to realise it that, I was very artificially happy and was actually comfortably numb.

There were other changes in me, which I found very suprising. For example, I was asked by a girl whom I met at a party the other day if I was single. And I said yes, and I didn't realised what I had said until she called. I picked up the cellphone and said, "Yes dear, will come to pick you up at the airport." Later the girl asked me if it was my sister on the phone and again absent-mindedly I said, "No it was my girlfriend." Surely I ahd to excuse myself and leave the party early. I came home and listened to Pink Floyd for over six hours until I fell asleep.

I wondered what was happening to me, had I become devoid of emotions? Did life suck me off my moods? Or was it just that I was having a long-distance relationship with my sweetheart-cum-girlfriend, who had played a practical joke on me recently and we were having a very formal relationship for many weeks now.

Life is unfair, is what people say. It is sometimes. But one has to understand that a person is either sad because one cannot achieve the happiness or is happy because sadness evades us. At other times when you are not given any reason to be sad, and the reason for you to become happy has altered, no longer giving the same gladness as you desire, you are numb. In my case, I was comfortably numb.

I know what I had to do as soon as I realised it. I called up the last dialled number on my list.
"Listen dear, we have to break-up, I don't think I can continue in this relationship anymore, I know it is really disgracing that I have to do this over the phone, but I had no option. And it is also demeaning that I am doing it over the answering machine, because I want you to get this message as soon as possible so that you could cancel your ticket on time. Take care. Luv...

My Nonplussed Expression - Episode 7

"Don't tell me! You got to be kidding me!", I said.

"I know it was a bad joke. But she had to do this to make sure," another familiar voice from behind.

Without saying a word, I started off and waived my hand to call a Rickshaw-wallah.

"To the airport"

"Hmm, so dear you are going in the rickshaw. I know you were giving me a mental farewell by doing so." she chuckled.

I turned back and said, "you know me..." It was the first time I saw her after a long time. It made me emotionally charged.

"Anyways, I am happy that you are alive, I forgive you despite your pathetic joke, and I don't know where I was going wrong, but it was difficult for me to maintain this long-distance relationship. I get disturbed sometimes, but if you testing me if I loved you still, here you got your answer. And now, am going back to where I was, I guess you will stay here for a month for your holdiays. Don't call me before a week, I will take time to digest this. Then I will make it upto you. Adios."

I had been strong back there. I knew it. And I started off without listening to her. I felt inside me that I had become mature. The thought process had become above thos petty little issues. I planned to start our relationship from a fresh page, now that we had been tested.

The next week I worked more than I was supposed to. My boss definitely enjoyed it.

"Buddy, I thought we'd get this the next week, but you are my man," announced my boss, "and, I have recommended you for a bonus."

That paid off I guess, in one way or another. Exactly on the seventh day, the Sunday, she called. My cellphone was ringing and I was wondering whether to pick it up or not. But I'd move along and had developed that sense to forget the joke.

I picked up the cell and greeted her with a very cold hello.

"Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrie" is what I heard from the other side. "You can't be mad at me for more than that dear."

Her sorry was sort of funny and it did bring a smile to my face after a long time.

"Nothing's gonna change my love for you, you.." played in the background.

My Farewell to my Beloved - Episode 6

I was taken to the hosptial where my wounds were dressed. When I came out of my unconsciousness, I could see Rohit:

"Buddy, tell me one thing are you still in the state of that stupid denial of yours?"

I took time to understand what he was saying and what really had happened.

"Man, can you make arrangements for me, so that I can go to Delhi for the funeral?"

I was kept in the hospital for the weekend, although no major injury was there. It was just Rohit wanting me to stay in bed under supervision. I really slept a lot, maintained my composure, and thought what I was going to say to her parents. They really didn't know how close we were. They probably knew me as a very good friend of hers. Anyways, I wanted to see her once. I had become very mature I thought.

My flight was for Sunday morning, and Rohit had brought my suitcase at the hospital, and I was set to go. I obviously didn't desire anything to eat during the flight and took a taci to her home as soon as I arrived at the airport.

I saw an autorickshaw go by. I remembered the time when we had first went out for a movie. I had taken the same route by an autorickshaw. I had gone to her house and picked her up. While we were in the rickshaw going to the movies, she said,

"There is this guy who proposed to me!"

I rolled my eyes, as if I was not disturbed by that line.

"He wants to go around with me. Its Mahesh, you'd seen him at my birthday party. How do you like him?"

"I don't know, I guess he is ok."

Perhaps she had expected me to become jealous. By that time we were not together, we were on a friendly date. We never talked about this event later. This came out of a corner of my memory, hidden somewhere.

Its like I was rewinding and I guess wanted to end the relationship as I had started it. I was giving her a farewell in my memory. I suddenly told the taxi fellow to stop. I took an autorickshaw instead. Yes, I thought this will be the best way to part from my beloved. I even decided that I will take the autorickshaw back to the airport.

I reached her house and paid off the auto-driver. I stood outside for a moment, staring at the iron gate. Everything looked so silent there. Yes, it was very silent. I wondered if the funeral was supposed to be today or what.

I rang the bell! Goodness gracious, for whole five minutes I stood there and no one answered it. I somehow started to become restless and rang the bell four or five times more. Maybe they had gone to some other relatives house for the ceremony. I knew whom to call - Rohit.

While I was at it, I heard a familiar voice from back.

"Are you looking for someone mister?"

My Denial - Episode 5

So there I was in a complete state of guilt. Somehow I blamed myself for all this. In the last few weeks we had grown so distant, and here she was missing, maybe dead, I would never be able to tell her how much I cared for her. Perhaps she knew it, but it hardly gave me any satisfaction until and unless I saw her and could be sorry for all the things I had done.

Suddenly, all times when I had wronged in the course of our relationship started coming back to me. This made me more and more restless and incapacitated to make all this right.

While I was at it, my dear friend Rohit called me, who by the way always does at these moments,

"Hey man, you sound like crap! Man don't tell me you blaming yourself for all this, you people were busy in your lives, doesn't make you the terrorist who bombed her building! Man I was telling you, be more mature, its how tough long-distance relationships are."

I hadn't heard a word after he had said crap. I really was feeling that low! When he had finished lecturing me I replied,
"Listen carefully, I'm going to UK tomorrow on whichever flight has a seat for me. You just do me one favour, take care of things at home. You know what I mean, don't you?"

Yes I could trust Rohit, I didn't wait for him to say yes! My next call was to my travel agent who confirmed my UK booking for about half as much as I had earned till now. What the hell, it was worth it.

I called up her university to check on the status.
"I am sorry sir. We found her body, she's been added to the dead persons' list now. We're using our chartered flight to send her body to her family members. Sir.. are you with me sir? Sir you got to be strong sir, don't tell me you fainted again!"

Next morning I called my travel agent to cancel my travel plans and then called up Rohit,

"What?" squealed Rohit.

"Yes man, she's playing a game with me, now she's not dead. Its just a small prank of hers. She wants to test me."

"Get a grip man, you have lost it. Listen, don't go to the office, stay at home I will come as soon as possible!"

"Yeah yeah buddy you are in it too? In her small little prank. Well its been too much now!"

I laughed at their joke. And thought that I would get angry for playing such a bad joke. Anyways I picked up my car keys and off I started out to the office.

So there I was in a complete state of denial now.

Suddenly...

BUMP! I don't' remember if it was a truck or a bus, but it was a heavy vehicle which hit my car!
This time I had no choice but to become unconscious....

My Dream, a bad One - Episode 4

I lay awake in my bed one Sunday afternoon. I kept on having recurring thoughts of her. I guess I was missing her very badly. But was I acting to immaturely always wanting to talk with her? Always wanting her! I know I cannot meet her for a year now, I even don't know if I will be with her forever, but the attachment with her has become so strong that I it hurts now.

While I was at this thought, instances from my past came alive. I remembered the time I first fell in love. Yes that was the time when I first lost my love. And therefore I guess I become restless in relationships.

While I was at it, someone called me up....

I didn't know but had I slept off? What happened? I wasn't sure what happened after the call was coming. I went to have some cold water and returned to check my cellphone. I found there was a call for me from London. Had she called? Then why did I faint?

My friend Rohit called me up then,

"Hey dude, there was a bomb explosion at Oxford University, did you find out if she was allright?"

And then it came to me, the call was from her guide,

"I am sorry to inform you that there was an explosion in the appartments where she was staying, she is missing, you were written as the emergency contact..."

I fainted again!

My Bad after a few Days - Episode 3

"Hello"

"What, it seemed you'd forgotten me!"

"Relax... How can I? My dear I had to do lots of things to settle down, and moreover it takes 2 days to get the cellphone."

"Anyways you hang up the phone, we can vocie chat on net! Save you a lot of cash no?"

"Ok will do so, but not now after an hour."

Hmmm, so she has called. Why the hell was I thinking that she wouldn't. Anyways as I had a deadline to meet, I got engrossed in my work.

It was only two hours back that I had given my long distance girlfriend time for voice chat, and I had missed it by an hour. Oh man! I tried to log in and found her offline messages that she waited and she waited and then she lost her patience. Oops! My bad!

The next week was busier for me than before. And whenever I had the free time I only called her up, but she never picked up my calls. I was getting restless regarding work as well as her. I could lose my job but not her. One day I suddenly realised that I literally am staying at my office, sleeping, drinking and sometimes even bathing here!

That is the time I realised whenever I had made calls, it was late night for her. But, she could leave messages, she could have called back. But no she didn't. After a week had passed I decided to call her university and could connect to her guide.

"O She's caught the flu I guess, hasn't reported since a week. Her Indian friend is taking care surely.."

"If tomorrow never comes...." shouted Ronan Keating as I had kept down the phone.

That was the day I really cried after many years. I felt what she might have felt the day she was leaving and had cried! I never knew why a person cries, but today it has come to me only to make me realise it seems...

My Night after The Proposal - Episode 2

"Sorry. I am not prepared for marriage yet! And I guess I should leave now, I have a flight to catch!"

Right. So first when I wasn't ready for it, I proposed, and then I got turned down. And I don't know what kind of relationship I will have with her.

"Aisa to kam hi hota hai woh bhi ho tanhaiiii bhi!"

Yes the song playing in the background did represent my situation right now!

9986195834.....


"Hello, see don't ask again, I will go and finish my studies, will talk on phone and all, and next year we decide!"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"You stupid. You don't know anything, this is not a breakup. Chal bye for now, take care"

"Do do shaqalein dikhti hai, is behke se aaaine mein, Mere saath chala aaaya hai aapka ek saudaai bhi"

Right now I don't what the song means. Now I really wanted her to say yes for the proposal and then tell her that I am not prepared for it yet. Why didn't it happen like that? And why do I want such a thing. Maybe, it will make me care free that yeah she wont go anywhere leaving me!

But, why do I want to be? Do I not trust her anyways? I do, but you never know what happens. My trust has been broken a number of times now.

And I don't know why I think I should press my blue shirt. Can wear it to work again. It still looks good. Says who that it is dirty!

I don't know when, but I had slept off and woke up due to a call early morning.

"Hi, dear, just wanted to say will miss you!"

Hmmm, gave me a sense of relief.

I was feeling good that atleast she thinks about me... Suddenly another phonecall came....

Her roomate had called up :
"Stupid, did you stop her, told her not to go?"

"No, why would I say that"

"Arrreeee. She cried all night, she said if you once tell her not to go then she will not!"

Uh, clearly I don't understand girls it seems.

My Date with the girl going Far Away - Episode 1

"Kyu aajkal neend kam khwaaba zyada hai...."

"Why did you pick up the phone so late?"

"Oh my new ringtone is so sexy - you've heard the latest song from Woh Lamhe, that one!"

"You idiot, for that song you will put me on hold!!!"

"Dearie, don't get angry.. let's meet at the Barton Center."

The blue shirt with those self-design checks looks so great. I guess I should wear this one. Ah my new Nokia 3250's voice quality is awesome when I am playing my favoutite songs on it. It is really a great Nokia model, ideal for "Muzik" lovers. Umm which song should I put, let us see..

"Oh its Carnival..."

Umm have listened to this one umpteen times, let's try the woh lamhe one:

"Kal ka fakeer aaj Dil shehzaad hai...."

Great, this will surely refresh me. So where was I, the problem which I am facing right now is that the girl with whom I have been so close for a long long time is now going away. Right she won't be there from tomorrow. Means she will be on the phone, on SMS, on internet and whatever new technologies come up in this world. But not in her physcial presence. Right that is not a big problem right now, as I don't know what I will fill when she is not here. The problem is what and how am I going to say this to her.

One never realises what one might feel later and how to express it. Anyways I will have to iron that pretty shirt before I take off.

Right, now everything is in order! My bike is getting too old now, I guess I should move on to owning a car. But this traffic, god I can't wait so long, should reach before she reaches.

There I see the pretty little coffee shop and thankfully I can't see her. And why is that? I am clearly late by 5 minutes. Right my girlfriend is a time-freak! So where is she today. Of course, she's taking coffee and I just hope she's having cold coffee, it won't hurt me so much! Oh no, it is hot. Run!

"Hey pretty lady, you know a hot coffee when thrown on someone might lead to permanent burn marks!"

"Shut up, I am not angry, let it be, it only shows how much you will miss me when I am gone"

Aaaargh, I cannot express my feelings. What should I tell her now?

"Miss you baby? Why will I do so, you stay in my heart"

Wink wink. Yippie, this dialogue was useful, good I see some romantic movies sometimes!

"Dont try to mollify me with those stupid dialogues of yours. And when will you learn to iron the shirt of yours. And dear you are wearing this shirt for the tenth time I guess! You don't know how to date a girl!"

"Yes I guess I don't because I don't need a girlfriend, I need a wife, will you marry me?"

Whistle whistle, clap clap!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO. What did I just say? Am I allright?